ad astra per aspera

So after today’s nightmare with his fucking family I’ve hatched a plan to look into moving to Houston and having Magnus come live with us.

Choosing Houston because of course that’s where his care is and he will probably need to be at MD Anderson on a daily or weekly or monthly basis for the next year.

It would be wonderful to have a home to go to when he isn’t in-patient.

We could have Magnus stay with us.  I know that he can only stay with us if we have a support system to help out with him.  The wonderfully fantastic Lori Mustachio that I’ve mentioned before said she’ll look seeing if Magnus can go to the same daycare her nearly 3 yr old son does.  She said she could help out & watch Magnus when we would need the extra care.

She’s also a native Houstonian (is that how you’d say it) and so she can help me look for a place to us to live.

I’m also going to talk with one of Chris’ friends from childhood that lives here in Houston.  He’s come to visit Chris at the hospital, at our hotel, and he texts me frequently to see how we are.  I’m going to see if he is able to be a support person for Chris’ care if we move here.

I know if I add  Magnus to the mix that I will need support for Magnus and Chris in case/when it is needed.

What I’m asking from Lori and Chris’ friend is no small favor.  I’m so lucky to have met Lori recently and have her support.

So if Chris’ friend, who is coming to visit him tonight at the hospital, thinks he can help out sometimes with Chris then I’ll move forward with plans to move us here.

It probably won’t happen for a month or two because there are things to plan – find housing that is located near the medical system that meets our need and that we can afford, apply for state aid, move our belongings from Austin to here, move Magus & his belongings from Georgetown to here, unpack a household.

It will be a lot to juggle and figure out but it will be worth it I think – his parents taking care of Magnus is NOT working and it isn’t going to magically get better.

I’ve had some people (Sandra, Alex, Sol, & anyone else) ask me how they can help us out.  If this move ends up happening I will need help getting our belongings from Austin to Houston and unpacking them.  Obviously I’d give advance notice of that date for anyone that could help out.

This is kind of stream of thought.  The events of the days since we were told that he isn’t responding to the chemo have all blurred together.  I’ve been so incredibly distracted with the shit storm of trying to get his parents, really his mom because his dad simply does not respond to texts, to communicate with me about basic things.

His mom starts sending me these long text messages listing out the 3 different options that can happen tomorrow with Magnus and how that will effect her being able to take care of her mother’s stuff ( what the fuck is Dennis doing????).  So I end up having to call her to get her to stop sending me these texts about things that are not my decision to make.  If that’s the case then I should just be taking care of Magnus myself right now.  I told her in a text earlier today that I don’t ever want her deciding what I should or shouldn’t know about my sons care.  Her response is to then send me these long texts asking me to make every decision because that’s what I asked right?  UGHHHHH

Phone call doesn’t go well, she brings up things that have nothing to do with what we are talking about and does not listen to me when I say I don’t have the time to deal with this shit.  She tells me that she lied to me about Brenda not working the days at the daycare that Magnus is there because she thought “I couldn’t handle it and would go ballistic”.  No fucktard I will go ballistic when you LIE TO ME ABOUT MY SONS CARE.  Then she starts crying and talking about my life is not the only one that has changed and she has no life now but that’s ok because she loves Magnus.  Uh what?

1 – that has nothing to do with her & all of them lying to me

2 – ask your husband to help out more or take your wonderful neighbor up on her offer to watch Magnus so you can get a break.  Mary refuses to ask for help when she clearly needs it.

3 – I’ve never ever said that our life has been the only one effected.  At least she still lives in her own home.  Taking care of a toddler is a fucking cakewalk compared to what I’m doing.  Chris did what she is doing before he was diagnosed and he didn’t describe himself as having no life.

Fuck I’m still so pissed off at them and I don’t need to be spending my energy on this bullshit when things are the way they are with Chris right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m DONE making sure I update them via text message daily when they can’t even fucking respond to my texts.  I’m definitely done trying to play nice with his sister.

As furious as I am with his parents, they are still Chris’ parents and Magnus’ grandparents.  But I’m distancing myself from them.

Hopefully it works out to move us three to Houston and we can attempt some sort of family life again.  I can’t deal with only randomly seeing Magnus anymore.