ad astra per aspera

I can reach out of this fog.

I can take care of the cleaning and cooking and chores and errands and school.

I can do this.

I can stop wasting time and stop turning my brain off and disengaging.

I can do it, I can keep moving forward and not fall down the rabbit hole.

I can do this, and I deserve this.  I can raise my son and go to school and have a household and make our own traditions and a life filled with joy and love and not chaos and instability.  I can make this life for myself, and I am worthy of this life.

I do not have to be defined by what my life didn’t and doesn’t have.  I don’t have to be defined as a person with terrible childhood and a dead husband, struggling to keep my footing everyday and figuring out how to create so many things that were never taught to me.

I am a mother, a student, a knitter, an observer and lover of this wondrous universe.  I am determined to give my son the best life possible.  I can make this happen, I can put one foot in front of the other everyday and do this.  Sometimes I’ll stomp and sometimes I’ll skip but I can do this, and I will do this.