ad astra per aspera

I started packing up our bedroom in Austin today.
I packed your shoes, your coats, your shirts, your sweaters.  I used boxes with your handwriting on them.  I packed the shirt you wore when we got married.  I packed your underwear, your socks.
Questions like do I keep or throw away your half used bottle of body wash?  Is this ____ of yours something I want in the garage or in a box to be unpacked at the new house?  I can’t just pack everything together, because all of it is not going into the next bedroom, fuck I almost typed our next bedroom.  It’s my bedroom.  It’s going to feel so fucking empty without you.
It was only one bedroom of belongings, there is a whole household of belongings to unpack, sort, organize once I get to Kansas.
I’m going to cry all day everyday for awhile after the move.  I’m going to cry and unpack, cry and make food, cry and watch cartoons & movies with Magnus, cry and pee, cry and poop, cry and bathe, cry and cry and cry.
There wasn’t enough time Chris, we only got 8 years together, 8 years is not enough fucking time.  I’m so scared I’m going to forget everything I know about you.