I’m flabbergasted that my sister-in-law flew to Las Vegas this morning with her husband to celebrate their honeymoon, leaving her parents to watch their child and Magnus. Hence the reason for a trip to El Paso that Chris and I were only told about a week ago. Obviously this trip had been planned for awhile – plane tickets were purchased. Today was my son’s first day ever at a daycare facility and I was ok with this because it’s the daycare that sister-in-law works at. But all parties involved decided to lie to Chris and I and neglect to mention that she wasn’t even going to be there. I was told the only reason for the trip was for Mary to take care of crucial things regarding her mother’s care that can’t be done long distance. TOTAL LIE.
That’s so fucking wonderful that Chris’ parents can travel 8 hours away so Brenda & Jason can celebrate their anniversary.
We are 3 hours away in Houston and have been here since January 12th – no visits from them.
Our anniversary, Christmas, our sons birthday, my birthday and Chris’ birthday were all spent in a fucking hospital. We struggle to figure out basic funding for our lives and sister-in-law has not ONCE offered financial or emotional support. She has not seen her brother ONCE since his diagnosis in July. I’m fucking over it. I bend over backwards to communicate with them about Chris and I get no responses to texts I send about Chris being in the ER and disoriented.
I’m not even being told basic things like what time Magnus is going to daycare, what days, how long will he be there – I have to ask repeatedly.
And there isn’t a fucking thing I can do about it right now because I HAVE to be by Chris’ side – there is so much going on that I haven’t even updated his blog!
My brain cannot even begin to process why they are acting like this. But they are, and I have to deal with it on top of everything else.
I’ve come to realize in this horrific process that a lot of people, including some close family, have no clue how to handle an aggressive cancer diagnosis with a poor prognosis. It’s hard for me to be understanding when I don’t get a choice about whether or not I can deal with it – no matter how hard this is for me it’s harder still for Chris and more than anyone HE needs support. I must be and will be by my husband’s side to get him thru this nightmare. Our lives will never be the same. Basic questions like “where do you live and where do you work?” can bring me to tears at times.
We have no home, our belongings are in storage. My job is unpaid and it is by far the hardest job I have ever had to do.
The leukemia Chris has is incredibly aggressive and two different chemo protocols are not slowing it down. We don’t know yet what they are going to try next, maybe a clinical trial. If they are able to get him into remission he will have to have a stem cell transplant. The odds of this disease not killing him are not good. This is our grim reality. There will be no point in his life that he will be cured. All we can hope and work towards is getting him in remission and keeping him there for as long as possible. Because he has relapsed while in treatment his odds of relapsing again after remission has been reached are very high.
ad astra per aspera 