Drive here was fast – listened to Radiolab podcast on the way.
If you haven’t listened to Radiolab then you must click here and pick any story – they are all fantastic beyond words.
Our hotel room is a queen suite with a kitchenette – there is sooooo much room to ourselves compared to the tiny room Chris and I share in Austin. It’s worth the money to have a place with just us in it; since moving to Austin the only time we have alone are during the car trip to&from his parents house or the brief spans of time at the hospital when nurses/techs/dr’s aren’t in his room.
We’ve wanted to go on a date to a movie or dinner but he hasn’t felt well enough to attempt it in the last few weeks. He’s so very tired most of the time.
Disinfected/sanitized all surfaces/light switches/remotes/door knobs/phones when we got into the hotel room.
Chris went to bed right after we got here. He was running a low temperature in Austin; called his doctor who said to just go ahead and go to Houston, he really wants him to make his appointment at the leukemia clinic.
I’m scared.
There’s so much unknown right now. We don’t know what we will find out tomorrow, we don’t know how long we will be here in Houston, we don’t know what will happen when we get back to Austin.
A lot will be decided within the next week.
I drove the route to MD Anderson so it would be an easy drive in the morning. It’s a huge complex and it’s surrounded by about 5 other specialty hospitals. Driving by the main entrance to MD Anderson and seeing patients waiting for their shuttles – I don’t even know how to describe the feeling it’s left me with.
Everyone at that hospital is there because they have cancer. They come from all over the country and all over the world for the expertise there. To walk in there tomorrow seeing so many people who are facing death, it’s daunting.
Chris and I still joke around about random things in life and about serious things in life. It’s changed lately a bit, with the mass coming back and almost going back to square one in terms of not knowing the next step.
There is more I want to type but mostly I want to just shut off my brain for a bit, zone out and watch some tv and work on the scarf I’m making for Chris’ mom. It’s a new pattern, a mock cable, and I like it so far. I’m using a lime green color, probably not something she can wear too often but she’ll appreciate the symbolism.
ad astra per aspera 