why is this so difficult

Posted on by ASH

I don’t understand why this is so frigging difficult – we want to see our son.
—————————————————————————————————————–

From: Amanda
To: Mary
Sent: Wed, August 11, 2010 10:52:09 PM
Subject: hey there!
So I was thinking that since I have the next two days off of work and Chris doesn’t have any treatment scheduled we can find a time when Magnus is napping or asleep for the night and we can all talk on the phone.  Chris is anxious about when he’ll get to see Magnus next.

So much of this is dependent upon how Chris deals with treatment which makes planning difficult.  We were tentatively thinking of you and Magnus maybe being able to come up around the 27th or so of this month.  As of now his last chemo of that cycle is the 23rd of this month.

Here’s a rough schedule of this month:
Monday August 16th – Wednesday August 18th – in the hospital for his first round of Cycle B (methotrexate)
Monday August 23rd – outpatient chemo in his spine

He may need daily WBC booster shots too but that all depends on his blood work.

His 2nd cycle of treatment A starts Monday September 6th – Wednesday September 8th.

So many dates and things to keep track of – I don’t even know if that public google calendar I made and linked on facebook is working for everyone.

At any rate text or email and let us know what time works well for you!

Love,
Amanda

 

—————————————————————————————————————–

From: MARY 
Date: August 12, 2010 3:38:33 PM 
To: Amanda 
Subject: Re: hey there!
 

 

Well, this isn’t the “conference call” with an immediate exchange of ideas and information, but I have to tell you that the date is too early for me. I really have to be here on payday.
  1. I have to get the oil changed before driving the 4Runner back up there. It is past the date and past the mileage of the recommended change, plus it would help me feel safer using the vehicle. I can’t do this before payday.
  2. I have not even gone to order my glasses yet. It was all we could do to get to the doctor; trying to get the glasses ordered during the same outing would not have been wise. Of course, I can’t go anywhere until I have new glasses. The superglue is not expected to be a permanent enough fix to last through another trip. The glasses are “Progressives” (sometimes referred to as no-line bifocals, but they’re really trifocals), so filling the prescription is not a “same day” order. I have to find the right frames, not easy with this narrow bridge I have. Anyway, we will most likely try to do that tomorrow. We will see what time Gary comes; if not tomorrow, then next Monday.Everywhere you go there are parents trying to get their kids ready to go back to school (parochial school in Gtwn begins on Monday, public schools in Gtwn a week later), so weekdays are the only sane shopping times.
  3. There are still things I am trying to wrap up from here that would be best taken care of from here (some of Mom’s stuff, for instance). Some of these people expect a person to be calling from a certain phone (house phone), and that is what I need to do. Until I get Mom’s missing credit card replaced and activated for her, I don’t think leaving here is advisable. Also her investment person who never returned the call when I was in EP must be contacted; easier to do when I have the paperwork here, and I really don’t care to drag it up with me.
  4. I want to be sure Chris is physically prepared to handle being in the same room with Magnus and not being able to rough-house with him. I want to be sure Magnus is emotionally okay with returning home and then coming back to TX with me. I need to know that this trip won’t hurt him.
  5. I must be here for an as-yet-unmade doctor’s appt. I can’t make the appt. with Dr. Chavez until after Labor Day. My meds have no more refills, so this is imperative.

I know that you both want to see Magnus and hold him and cuddle with him and tousle his hair. He wants to see you two, as well. But I really think our time here has been too short (at this point) for him to get used to the idea of a (fairly) long separation followed by a reunion and then another separation.

He is such a wonderful little guy. We are so lucky to have such a darling, sweet, cute, funny, intelligent grandson. He “helps” me with so many things, even turning on and off some lights (you’d think all the light switches would be the same height), pushing buttons on the washer, dryer, and dishwasher, putting plastic items in the sink, carrying laundry (or pushing his basket) to the laundry room. He is helping me get exercise by requiring me to dance with him to the music.

  1. I have not kidnapped your son.
  2. I will bring him back.
  3. I can’t do it just yet.
  4. I want what is best for everyone, but Magnus holds the trump cards; whatever is best for him is what we have to do.
Love you guys tremendously.
Mary/Mom/Grandma

————————————————————————————————————

From: Amanda
Date: August 12, 2010 4:27:48 PM
To: MARY
Subject: Re: hey there!
That all makes sense.  While my heart longs to see Magnus my head understands that won’t happen as soon as I’d like.  I get paid the 20th and then both Chris and I get paid the 3rd of September, so I was thinking I would send a check to help out with the oil change on the 3rd.  

Chris’ next chemo free time period would be around the 17th to the 26th of September.  The next time period would be the 6th to the 17th of October.
Should we see if sometime during those dates may work?  I read your email to Chris and he’s also been with me as I type this response and understands it will be awhile before a trip happens.
 
Love,
Amanda

————————————————————————————————————

On Aug 14, 2010, at 8:50 AM, MARY wrote:


Hi!
Our little man is having so much fun. So you can see what all he has to work with, here are the pages to view the Cordon Bleu necessities.
This is the “big” item:
This is the item Gary had to get:

Gary promised to come back earlier in the day next time so he could spend more time with Magnus. You would be so very proud of your son. He has been very taken up in the cooking but keeps telling us that Mommy (or Daddy) is on the phone and needs to talk to one or the other of us. You two continue to hold highest places in his heart and his thoughts.
Love you both!
 Mary/Mom 

 

 

 ———————————————————————————————–
From: Amanda
To: MARY
Sent: Sat, August 14, 2010 10:56:46 AM
Subject: Re: Magnus: World Reknowned Chef
Thank you for the links to all his fun new toys – I love his hat and apron!  I hope that Gary visits often enough so that Magnus becomes more familiar with him.  

Did you get the email I sent a few days ago asking about dates in September or October for a return visit?  At least the weather will be cooler then.
Chris’ hair is falling out more – he has bald patches on his head and his shirts are covered with tiny hairs.  He’s still tired most of the time which is to be expected.
We’re checking into the hospital on Monday around 8 a.m. 
 
Love, 

 

Amanda 

 

———————————————————————————————————-

On Aug 14, 2010, at 11:42 AM, MARY wrote:


Yes, I did get the email with the dates. Let’s pin it down a bit later. I am still up in the air over a few things. And giving Magnus more settling in time should make returning to TX less traumatic when we come back here from KS. Today we are going for a ride in the 4Runner (needs gas). When I told him we would go put gas in Daddy’s truck, he asked, “Where Daddy truck?” … funny after the number of times we’ve been reminded “Daddy truck driveway” … when I said it was in the driveway, he said, “Oh yeah.” We’ll be leaving here after lunch. Short drive to a gas station, maybe on to Target for a couple of things and back home for nap. We need to try the Skype thing today as well.
Later.

 

 

 

 

 

————————————————————————————

From: Amanda
Date: August 14, 2010 1:46:18 PM 
To: MARY 
Subject: Re: Magnus: World Reknowned Chef
Since neither of us are familiar with using Skype I think a test run without Magnus first would be best.  So if we pick a time when Magnus is sleeping to attempt to meet up on Skype that might work.  I couldn’t make out everything you were saying about using your neighbor’s computer set up, when we talk and the phone is on speaker I can make out half of what Magnus says and half of what what you are saying.

Chris and I do not want to wait until a bit later to pin down a date.  The earliest date I mentioned is 4 weeks away and the next one is 8 weeks away from now.  By the dates in September I mentioned Magnus will have been in Texas for nearly 2 months.  A return trip to see us in September and then going back to Texas will not traumatize him.
I work tonight and tomorrow night and Chris goes to the hospital on Monday.  We want to talk on the phone about this tomorrow during Magnus’ nap time.  Please call us when he goes down for his nap tomorrow.

Leave a comment